I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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