Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize