yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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