If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
