I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
