Michael Bay diarrhea
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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