I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize