i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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