P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
