Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
