I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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