Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize