So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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