lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I deserve this hangover.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
