i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
