just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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