yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hippo gnu deer
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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