i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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