I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize