all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
