ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
