her vagina looked like bernie madoff
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
