you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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