All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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