I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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