I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
