Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
