They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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