I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
