it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
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Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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