Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize