My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.