This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
