She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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