he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
