Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
