2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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