i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
