It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize