I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
