my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
