you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
