hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
