He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
