I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
