weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
