She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
