Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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