I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
