Someone shit on the floor
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
