Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
