Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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