I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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