just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
