Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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