I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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