Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
