Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
