is your mom at the bar?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
