just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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