There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
