just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
