He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
