Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
