And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
