If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
