You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
