i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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